oblivious to the truth

She was a vadamalli, literally. Vadamalli…from a distance you could spot purple dots on green backdrop and it is enough to lure you… a kind of curiosity… then you are pulled to it like moths dragged to the flames… now as your blurred vision clears, it take you by surprise, the spiked balls… still unable to tame your curiosity, you seek it… to find only orderless, hueless, rough and unwelcoming flowers.

He was a supernova, literally. Supernova… a great explosion of light… energy… a fascinating miracle from a distance and more you go into it you are left clueless… as if what it turns out into… what its destiny is… even if you got a handful of theories about it, all you feel will be uncertainty… it’s not because you doubt theories but you have a lot of them, like choices and you are uncertain of which one.

They are poles apart, not their characters(both are stubborn, insensitive introverts) but ideologies. They pursue their lives in different ways. But from the moment they crossed their paths, they have this unexplainable attraction to each other. He called it an illusion due to his stress from over work and she credited it to her over attachment to P&P type romantic novels. Both were unaware of the other ones feelings and the impending disaster in their life.

Like every other love story, they fall in love with the aid of a band of cupids – their friends and myself among one of them. Their story was not dark, tragic, adventurous, mystic, mysterious, nor even happily ever-after. I don’t know where I should place that story… which category? All I knew was it was a sort of inconvenience thing… they thought it to be like that… after everything happened in our lives they moved on over night… just like that… mercilessly mocking a band of confused people… with the lamest excuse ever heard or said… inconvenience… everyone moved on… except me. It was a blow on my face. I was not used to such things like called by my best friend on a pleasant morning to say that everything you had seen till now was a lie or joke. I felt restless. I tried to be normal mentally scolding to get a grip, if they can then why can’t me. But still I couldn’t shake those thoughts from my head. And it was on the thiruonam day that year I saw him after their breakup. Like every one else I acted like nothing had happened and was making every thing in my powers to lighten up our gathering until his accusing eyes met mine. I was taken aback with the intensity  of his stare, my heart started beating in an unbelievable rate. And at some point of that eye-lock, I realized to my own horror that… that inconvenience was me. It was bad… but things got worse… in our lives.


ho nostalgia dei vecchi tempi..

My grandmother used to tell me stories about “nidhi kakkunna bhoothathan”. When I was young, I believed them because they were so convincingly told.

There were more stories around me, growing into me as I grew up. The credulity of these stories, well I don’t know and I don’t want to. They were my mates. They were so special that I placed them close to my heart. Never ever I tried to interpret them with logic and thus spoiling their beauty.

Landless, but Lifeless?

It is neither a village nor a city where we live. The place is having its own uniqueness, so is the people here, most of them are what you call narrow minded hypocrites. There are these reality checks… To born in a poor family or having landless ancestors will not seize your right to enjoy your life. Or let me put it like this – it is not your greatness to be gifted by ancestral wealth.  So why they think they have the right to badmouth others. As I said if I live in a rented house it has nothing to do with the comforts I am having there. I am living in a rented house because my parents were not rich as some others’ and these people don’t have the right to question me for having a cable tv connection or internet in my house. As long as I earn money I can spent it the way I wish. Or are they trying to say that poor are not allowed to enjoy the happiness in the world?

There is this reality laughing at your face.