I am jinxed, I used to lament. Then she came and sat near me, moving her hand through my hair she said, ‘You are my doll,’ in the sweetest sound I had ever heard. Thus a memory happened, so close to my heart, a memory of being a jinxed doll. I smiled to myself knowing her selfless love never cease to give me jitters.

I am lucky, I used to boast. Then he came and stood behind me, gritting his teeth at my impuissance he said, ‘You are my headache,’ in the most possessive sound I had ever heard. Thus a memory happened, so close to my heart, a memory of being a lucky headache. I smiled to myself knowing his selfish love never cease to give me jitters.

‘I care,’ I pleaded only to be ignored. ‘I don’t care,’ I yelled only to be ignored again. ‘Did I matter or didn’t I,’ I wondered aloud only to earn some eyebrow raisings. ‘I love you,’ I never said and they waited. ‘I love you,’ I wanted to say but couldn’t and they smiled at me as if they knew my secret. This is so weird.

‘Ummachi…,’ as my voice reverberated through the walls and ceiling, I knew I sounded nothing but an anxious 5 year old. I couldn’t help it. ‘Papa…,’ my voice has a note of acknowledgement of the responsibility that bestows on me every time I took that word. ‘Vavachi…,’ cuteness quotient magnified and I am too aware of that for my own good. ‘Ashiq…,’ and lo am I proud? I should make sure that he is the last one to know. ‘Vellumma…,’ the calmness was not your imagination or mine, it was there brimming inside me and a pair of eyes, grey with white lashes of age, flashed. ‘Vellyappa…,’ I breathed in anguish and no one can hear a breath. I hope he hears me.

A selfless smile, a caring hand, a cute nose, a handful of mischief, and an aura of serenity- these built my family. And they prompt me to smile, to weep, to scream, to soothe, to romp, to forget, to ponder, to ignore, to tease, to love and to do everything I do. My family is my trigger. Period.

Sasuraal Genda Phool

Memoir: My life was all normal and happy that I was hopping around my house with lithe steps (jumping at times), songs in loops, dancing moves, hands held books and my fill of fangirling, with a messy self and mushy gait I hardly cared anything on the earth, and then it happened. Out of the blue I was married off and placed in a new house full of strangers, abnormal, I mean, no running or chasing, no songs, no dance, what’s-there-in-a-novel looks and fangirling is a big don’t, now teach me some etiquette and how to start a I-do-care spree, albeit I won’t argue on the happy part which stayed intact. Yes, happily married.

My saas, I mean, mother-in-law never gave me a ghari (scolding) and I had no such hopes of her. I am lucky that she is the odd one out in the MIL genre. My father-in-law is a typical FIL of Kerala. My devarji sa (brother-in-law) and chotu devarji sa (bother-in-law, pun intended) are saiyaan’s only siblings (both are polls apart). If one is samjane waali then the other is the obvious replacement for ghari dene waali. Did I say I was lucky for something? Then this is the part where I am going to edit it. I am lucky, sort of. And then comes to the ched ne waali (the one who teases), mhare saiyaanji (my husband). Husband is synonym for missing and skyping. I miss you. So let me skype you. He went to pardes (foreign land) leaving me alone, but as I am a less of a complaining saathiya and more of an understanding saathiya, we live in peace separated by seas. Let me quote Roger de Bussy, “Absence is to love is what wind is to fire, it extinguishes the small, it inflames the great.” And our love sets afire by the distance.


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Information about the Chinese
    Aug 05, 2014 @ 04:55:48

    It’s appropriate time to mke a few plans for the longer term and it is time
    too be happy. I have read this publish and if I may just I wish to recommend you some fascinating things or suggestions.

    Maybe you can write next articles referring to this article.
    I want to learn even more issues approximately it!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: